language politics

ever been in a conversation where the people around seem to be speaking in tongues and you wish you could have known what they were saying, because not only are you interested, you want to be certain whatever they are saying about YOU is nice things and nice things alone. that is why ia have taken upon Venda and Spanish and a little Sign Language from the net and friends alike. to be honest the experience has been quite overwhelming yet amazing too. i have been blessed with the opportunity and curiousity of a budding youngster andd that is truly beautiful... now i am about to write down a sentence each from the languages i am learning at the moment and those of you who want to see a bit of sign language i shall upload a video or you can go on the sign language website to teach yourself...
micasa comprende - do you understand me in Spanish...
ndo muhumbula ngamanda - i miss you a lot
# the nice thing is that with love and song it gets easier and you learn quick...
*wink*

i'm not happy, i am working on my smile

walking along the corridors in hopes of trying to avoid the next person and by the purity of being unlucky, i am greeted by the unnerving look on his face. i say hello and to avoid conversation i lose eye contact completely and yet he still wants to know about the glow. i am not glowing i am smiling to remind myself that i could never have enough money to do plastic surgery to restore it. i am not happy either iam beside myself with the money things that i have going on but then again just to seem the guid to joy i smile, i cry and i dance to be at ease and remind myself that pain does not last... # this too shall pass...

creating you

God took his time making you and moulding you into the perfect being for your parents. With you he gave them love, life and more reason to wake up in the morning. Some grew up to be disappointments or even successes but all the while you remain your parents' child. It is now time to create you. You are with purpose and to fulfill that very purpose you have to create yourself into not the ideal person but in fact the ideal person for you. You know what you are capable of and feel that just sitting around and pleasing others is not the way to go... Get up and start creating. Create space in that clustered cupboard of yours. Create ways to get out of bed and please go to work so you can feed and take care of yourself. Create a fanbase like get some friends, those people create the best days, lunches (or in my case parties), trash bins for your heavy heart and love in your life whereas you grew up not knowing what the very word means. Create a shopping list, winter fashion is just pleasing for the eyes, mind, body and spirit. Create a world for you and you alone where you can just offload or enjoy yourself. But the most important is creating time for the very person who made it possible for you to even think of creating and that is GOD... # LOVE HIM! LOVE YOU! LOVE FAMILY AND FRIENDS! LOVE THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU! LOVE LIFE! AND LOVE THE WORLD!

a kiss goodbye (hello in reverse)

i called myself an emotiona retard because well in the sense of the word emotions... i simply cannot deal. there is so much to do in so little time. i remember the days when you could capture so much life in a picture and now it's like you can literally write a book with a picture. i am saying goodbye to the bad ones and hello to the almost perfect ones, who really take time to fit me into their autobiographies... #love yourself as god loves you and you will see the beauty of life, love and in his name please, do laugh...

crucify the candles

the memory of his death still lingers as to how i should his last moments with him. when we met i had a love for candles that couold never be overridden by anyone or anything else... with that in mind, he bought me a candle to celebrate our friendship and ever since thursday's have been my very source of reminding me of his presence and effect on my life. i go around trying to convince myself myself that i am probably much better off without him, but the social networing regime has never been the same. i thought conversations never had value until he spoke, i thought anger when he did everything in his ability to install happiness in and i thought pain with his death and somehow i am thinking joy at the fact that though little the time i had with him, i am lucky to have known of him... #the candles are going with the thought that it is time to let go, not so much an easy thing but a good thing because he would have wanted me to be happy and remember him in vain...

TODAY

I WALK AROUND PUTTING ON A WELCOMING FACE TO AVOID THE MUCH DREADED QUESTION, "WHAT'S WRONG?" NOTHING COULD BE WRONG REALLY IN FACT I AM JUST ALRIGHT. I GUESS DEATH DOES NOT AFFECT AS MUCH OR RATHER IT DOES NOT BOTHER ME AT ALL. I FEEL SAD WHEN A NEW LIFE BEGINS AND HAPPY WHEN ANOTHER DIES. YES, THIS DOES SEEM FREAKY TO MOST THEN AGAIN THERE IS NOT OTHER WAY TO SAY IT, EITHER THAN JUST AS MUCH AS GOD CAN GIVE YOU THE GIFT OF LIFT, HE HAS THE POWER TO TAKE IT AWAY. BY THE WAY... ALL THAT I JUST WROTE IS SARCASM... # I DESPISE DEATH WITH EVERY PART OF MY BEING *cRyInG* "HAMBA NHLIZIYO YAKHE YAYA EZULWINI"